So it has been a long while since I've posted on this blog so let me first update you on me. Last post was in December and even though I didn't say this I was struggling with burnout. I truly for the first time since walking into the classroom did not want to be a teacher. Was this a result of pandemic teaching? No, not really. It was definitely the straw that broke me but if I were honest I have struggled with this for a while. God had been calling me out of teaching for several years but I just did not want to give up my comfort, my security. But if you know God like I do, he does not give up on his kids. So finally in May after crying through another lunch break and lots of text to my husband venting I just did it. I walked back in and told my director I would not be renewing my contract. Then I told my principal and submitted my resignation letter to the school board. Not even quitting is easy for us teachers, lol. I kept expecting to feel panic but all I felt was peace. Not gonna lie there have been a few moments of fear. And satan, let me tell you he used this to work on my insecurities, my family, friendships and pretty much any weak spot he thought he could find. But God and many prayers are getting me through. I still have no idea what comes next. But I do know what comes now. I am using this time to serve Him. I am attending a womens bible study that I was just too tired for before. I am auditioning for praise and worship choir tonight. If you know me at all you know and if you don't let me tell you-I love, love, love to sing but singing in front of people terrifies me. Years of being told I could not sing have taken it's emotional toll on me. But God did not ask if I could sing, he ask me to sing, to praise him with the voice he blessed me with. It may not be pretty and certainly not perfect but he asked so here goes... I am also about to take a class to be a teacher at church. This was something that I never made time for before. I already taught 5 days a week and I did not have the time to devout to another class. Maybe I will now, maybe I will lead a bible study or maybe this will just be a time for learning to be a better small group leader in my Celebrate Recovery group. But that is not up to me, he just ask me to be still, to listen and be obedient. I am taking time for me, eating better, sleeping more and walking. I absolutely hate any form of exercise but I have really let the temple he gave me go and it's time to take better care of it. I pray more and read my bible more. And I wait on him. It is the hardest thing I have ever done but once I surrendered it has been easier. I will continue to update and I know there will come a post titled "I got a job!!!", just not yet.
